clean

we had the station picnic today at my place
and it was very poorly attended
lwd n ml
mom, dad, me
f and r
and thats it

and during the picnic
miss neighborgirl came around again, for the first since the black kitty
her dad was over to chat for a few minutes as well
and then, she came back over, and
i played hide n seek with her
NOT my idea of fun!

but i'm thinking as i was cleaning up afterwards
i've been here, for over a yr, now, and its still much cleaner than the appt
i'd never let anyone into the appt, because i was ashamed of what it looked like
i made no attempt to keep it clean
it didnt matter to me,
no one ever came to see me anyways, so why bother to clean it?
but yet i wouldnt let anyone in, cause it wasnt clean

but now
i've been doing a much much better job of keeping things clean
of keeping dishes washed up
of cooking, making myself food to eat, of cooking for others
mom and i swapped my cole slaw and beans for her scalloped potatoes today
of having folks here
of folks staying over night
and even had this sudden idea, as i was sitting in the yard with the others today
i need to bake cookies for christmas, for all the neighbors
now a person CANT get much more domesticated than that

i guess maybe i need to accept the fact that i've finally become a typical old maid
i guess maybe i'll be the old maid aunt and give all my attentions to nieces/nephews
i guess maybe i need to accept the fact that i'm the "funny" lady with a cat