matt

on monday evening we are having a memorial service for matt, will be placing the memorial stone in the courtyard at the hosp. (its a neat idea the hosp has)
and its got me thinking abt him again.

nicki called me this evening, and she was in need of someone to listen. she was telling me that the last five min before matt left to go to work, was talking abt me, and the first 5 min after he got back, was talking abt me, "you gotta hear this" he would say. she has told me several times, matt liked you, he thot you were cool.

im still not sure why he decided i was an ok girl, cause matt was sorta picky, who he liked and didnt like. im 10 yrs older, fat, conservative, soft spoken, and much to nice to drunks. he used to tell me, i had to be mean to them.

heh, one day, several month ago, i was taking a drunk woman to hte hosp, who was hitting on me. of course i was nice, after all, if it meant she was gonna cooperate, i was all for it. adn the only thing i could thing of, was, matt would be so disappointed in me, he would think he hadnt taught me anything.

matt had the most entertaining stories. i remember when he was all fired up, he was gonna get a giraffe. it would put its head up into his n nicki's bedroom window, and sleep like that. they could pet it from the 2nd story. and his recitals of his interactions with bls were lots of fun to listen to.

i lost my initiative to be at work at 630 when he died. we always relieved each other, and if hte pager went, just before we were there, we'd beep the other, and say, hey, im almost there, i'll take it. put me responding. i came back off a late call, one evening, while he was still in the hosp, and it hit me. never again, would i come back to central, to find him waiting on me.

matt, i still miss you, and will always remember the things you taught me
i will not allow ss to ruin my memory of my friend