grumping

always drama at work
always.
i'm tired of it.
it never goes smoothly for any extent of time.
there is always something going wrong.

and i guess that is to be expected
i just think that the things going wrong would be easier to deal with, if i didn't have to work the truck, as well as being boss.

how am i supposed to be secretary, and run the truck, and be coordinator?
how?
it's been bad enough running the truck, and being coordinator
and now i have to add secretary to that listing? at least for awhile?

i was not made to work constantly.
i am not one of these people who are addicted to work.
i want my time to do garden, and yard
and most of all, i'm sick and tired of having to disappoint someone else because of my stupid job controlling my life.

yes, i'm grumbling.

fellowship

this has been a very good day, today.

started out with the fact that i did not have to cover the truck today, and so i took off.
i've been ready for a day off. these 60+ hr work weeks are getting to me.

and so i had company this morning
woke up about 7 30, and realized, hey, i bet i could talk them into stopping in here on their way past.
made a phone call, and the answer was, well, yeah, we can do that.

Allen King and Jason Cole spent some time with me this morning.
twas a very nice visit in my estimation, here's hoping they enjoyed it too.
Jason was a hero and changed the hallway light bulb for me. Thanks Jason!
i got proof of the visit, 3 pictures were taken.
Allen got to take the edge off of his net withdrawal while he was here.
i was able to find a cord to pass as a cell phone charger.

kc wasn't a snob
c never once called about anything from work, today.
not once!
beth called, family time on friday evening is being planned.

after they left, i downloaded the pics
(ok, what's the diff btw download and upload? did i upload the pics from my camera to the computer?)
and then uploaded one onto md
(i think i used download and upload correctly)

and then i started messing around with the old laptop, the one that it says it doesn't have a hard drive in, and i know well and good it does. turned it upside down a time or 5 while trying to figure out how to take out the hard drive and put it back in. i couldn't take the screws out. they were in good and tight. but when i turned it on, it booted right up. slow as molasses, but it was there.
so i moved some of the stuff from that one to my new one.
and read some old information. twas interesting.

then it started snowing. i actually had off and didn't have to be at work.
so i watched it snow.
then went outside in it for a bit.
drove to klines, not sure why, guess maybe i just wanted to stretch my horizons a bit.

and for some reason, i was hungry for comfort food.
maybe because it was such a nice day, no grumps, no problems.
and i made poached eggs in milk. considered stewed crackers, but decided poached eggs n milk would fit the ticket quite nicely.

and now, i'm ready to start back to work tomorrow.
today was my day of rest, and fellowship.

it's been a very nice day.

mongo

day 1 of mci class is in.
it's been interesting.
i had forgotten aj heightman's famous saying of "mongo like 'cookie.'"

difficult

i find it difficult to believe that it is oct 1 already.
where has the year gone?
and why so fast?

fire

As some of you know, i washed an ink pen with my good clothes. And dried it in the dryer as well.
That has me pretty well irritated. Those work shirts are 29.00 apiece, and the ones that got ink on them are the newest ones i got.
So i googled how to get rid of ink stains. Didn't find a whole lot of hope. Decided to try homemade soap. So this evening i smeared a whole washer load of clothes with homemade soap.
And i followed a net tip.
Soak a rag in clorox, and put it in the dryer and run the cycle.
So that's what i did.
Left the clothes to marinate in the soap, left the dryer running.

The shadow and the little one were here, and the shadow wanted to play "shadow's beauty salon"
waiting room in the deck room, salon in the restroom in the deck room.
get a book to read in the waiting room, till your appointment is called. Come into the salon, with the door shut and get smeared with perfume and lotion and lip gloss. (hey, they were having fun...i was secretly rolling my eyes)
the little one and i both had our appointments completed, and the shadow was changing the wording on the paper to have it be the little one's beauty salon.
i came out, opened the dryer
thot to myself, wow, that clorox took the shine off the drum
reached in for the towel, and there was no towel
so i looked a bit closer
There was soot all thru my dryer, on the floor, and NO towel. none. NONE.

there is soot on the dryer vent outside the house.
there is soot in the lint trap
there is soot everywhere.

i could have come out of that little BR and found the kitchen in flames

i'm going to blame that fire on the clorox soaked rags
not on a full lint trap

so don't ever put clorox soaked rags in your dryer, no matter what the internet says!


btw, if i clean out the soot and stink, will the dryer still work?
or do i need to go buy another one?

weird

i had the weirdest dream last night

i was somewhere, i didnt recognize it
and there were other people there, too
and this guy started shooting everyone
i was walking to my car, to leave,
i wasnt worried, didnt think he'd shoot me,
but i wanted away from it all

well, i got shot
and for the rest of the dream, i was back inside the house,
rolling around on the floor
from room to room, not sure why
trying to stay out of his way, and trying to stay out of his cohorts' way
and a coworker of mine was there too
and his wife
he made no attempt to cover for me, or to help me
but he made no attempt to bring attention to me either

maybe i'm more worried about hosp politics than i thot i was.
or maybe i should be worried i'm walking into massacre by contemplating the job.

disappointment

i am thoroughly disappointed
i didn't realize i was looking forwards as much as i was, to the plans for tomorrow.
i'm trying to tell myself that i need to take the focus off my disappointment, and focus on the human aspect. it's not working too well, just now, tho.

unfathomable

my brain can't fathom something this evening
its just beyond me, right now.

i apparently have a fan club
apparently there is this 17 yo mennonite girl (who looks like miranda lambert the country singer) in lack's territory who thinks she knows me
who thinks i'm the cat's meow (my own words there)

here's the story
i was with lack this evening on a call
and their emt started talking about "buffy"
buffy always asks him who the medic is, and if its me
she tells him that she knows me.
and she told him the story how when she went to take her driver's test, this guy there said he was good friends with me, he knows me well. he was an older guy, gray hair, and they had a nice chat regarding me.

well!
woody used to work in the comm center, and he now works for the driver's license photo/testing center. but, he by no means is a "good friend" of mine. and he certainly doesn't know me well. i ran into him there, several month ago, when i went to have my driver's license pic taken, and that's the only reason i knew he worked there. he left the comm center several yrs ago. acquaintance, yes, but wow. just wow.

so now i'm flabbergasted
either he brought up the subject of me, because this girl is a menno girl (and so am i)
or she brought up the subject of me, but good grief, if she goes around talking to me, to every person she meets?
and if he brought up the subject of me, to her, does he do that to every menno girl who comes in?
oh my

i'm not sure i like this

now, she can talk about me with lack's crews all she wants, i don't particularly mind that
cause they are ems, and she is asking about someone in ems, and so there is a connection
but to go talking about me to some random guy she most likely won't ever see again?
where is the connection?

anyways,
i told him to tell her i said hi
he's quite aware that i have no idea who she is.
i tried finding a connection, how does she know me?
no, i don't know her parents, he doesnt think that she or her family were transported by ambulance at any time.
the only thing that i might be able to think of, is he said she goes to the same church as rosina did. rosina was a menno girl who ran with lack's amb for a short period of time. (she went and got married!)

and if woody calls me a good friend, and knows me well? that has got to be her exaggerating what he said. i can't imagine woody saying something like that.

and someone needs to plug the hole in my balloon. i feel like i've been deflated. just how can i be that impressive so as to ...? you'd think i oughta be flying high, so much so that i need my sails trimmed. but i'm not. i'm feeling deflated. how the heck could i be such a role model? and to someone i don't even know? and that i had no idea?

it just blows my mind

stupid

i came back to central today, around 3 30 ish, i guess
joe was making veggie soup, and it sure smelled good
he asked, do you want some soup?
my answer, no, i'm not not hungry, but it sure smells good

dave was sitting at the bar, eating a bowl of soup
about 10 minutes later, while i'm talking to him, i got myself a glass of water
and then reached above the frig and pulled down the cheetos
dumped out a handful or two, put the bag away
brought my cheetos over to the bar and started to sit down

and something hit me
i said, "now that was highly stupid of me
i said i wasn't hungry, and what do i do?
i get a pile of cheetos to eat
that was just plain stupid!"

and so i promptly put my cheetos back in the bag
and drank my water as i chatted with dave.

dreams

still looking

i've decided this searching for a car has got to be the same as searching for a hubby

maybe i'm too picky
maybe i should just settle for a car that doesnt have one of my must haves, just so that i have the stability of a steady garage. i haven't had that for about 3 years now.

i feel like the credit card commercial-- i want it all, i want it all
that commercial came on today, i turned to lori and said, that's me. she started laughing. says she was just thinking the same thing. she's been listening to me grump and search for a week now.

the two must haves that i can't seem to find in the same car, are remote start, and power seats. you would THINK that a car with remote start would have power seats.

why remote start? cause i've always said, that if a guy would consistently clean my car off in the winter, get it nice and warm for me, so that i didn't have to go out to a cold car, and that i didn't have to scrape ice off windows, i'd snap him up in a hurry and hang on to him. so, since i can't have a guy do it for me, i'm going to take care of myself, and buy me a car that does it for me.

i found the car with remote start that is in my price range, and in my mileage range, but it doesn't have power seats. and i'm short enough that i have to have that power seat. i'd almost rather give up my dream man (remote start) before giving up power seats. sooo. do i buy the car with no power seats, but with remote start, just so that i have the stability of a garage? where they will come to the hospital and pick up my car for me, while i am at work? and bring it back? that stability would be wonderful.

do i settle for stability? or hold out for what i want?

my settle for car

troubles

2 yrs ago we were worried about the very thing that has finally happened

just wish that someone had taken us a bit more seriously then, or that we had pushed a bit harder

today

its been a lazy, quiet, comfortable day today
headed out to the station to download two pictures, only found one of them there
but when i got back, they had both been emailed to me

had quite a nice phone conversation
come to think of it, thats the only time my phone rang today,
(except for the station billing question early this morning.)

stopped at klines, got a few things and cashed the bday check from my aunt
put my chix legs in the oven and cooked them
ate a sandwich
paid a few bills, wrote a letter
hung out on md
tormented kc

its been a good day.

favorites

today has been quite the day at work.
several interesting things happened.

best of all, is that i got to play, and didnt even have to do a chart :pleased:
not for bls, not for als
oh what fun!
i do believe i travelled the fastest to a call today, as i ever have
in fact, i came up behind phil, (county EMA), and shoved him out of the passing lane into the slow lane so that i could keep travelling. course, at the time i didnt know it was him, but i don't suppose it would have made any difference had i known it was him.

and the 2nd best thing is that i get to a hospital that i havent been to in ages
and who should i see but one of our former ER nurses.
one of my favorites, i must say
i got a huge welcome, and i even got a hug

bill was ER nurse when i was doing my student time, and then he quit to work at bon secour
and when i was working for roaring spring, right after i got my medic, i ran into him there.
and then he came back to our ER for awhile, and left again
this time to work agency.
and today, i see this guy with his back turned, thru the partially open curtain in the bed next to the one that i was putting my pt into. and the thot crossed my mind, that looks like brenneman. and wouldnt you know, it was!

its been a good day.

2007

what impact has 2007 has on my life?

2007 has been a horrid year, prob the worst ever
-i've lost friends, net friends that i considered real life friends
-i've opened up slightly and in the process became even more alienated
-i've lost membership, and been reinstated
-i don't know that i've learned anything that i was supposed to have learned
-i've refused to let anyone get any closer than they have been, in fact, i've pushed them further away
-kc came in limping and i almost killed him while trying to take care of him

2007 has been an ok year
-was to colorado for a wkend camping trip, first jet plane experience
-met a few md people in real life
-found an angel in disguise
-interviewed for bossman's job, and it was given to someone else, (thankfully)(but at least i got to interview)
-the bat incident turned out ok
-jco hugs, i need them
-kc's injury healed on its own

maybe 2008 will be better
maybe i'll profit from my experiences

cold

kc wanted outside today
which is fine
only prob is, it was snowing and cold

so, i left him out
he stepped in the snow
and he turned right around and came back in
before i ever shut the door

and a few minutes later he wanted out again
so i opened the door for him
he went outside, and i shut the door
if he wants out, he can just be out
several minutes later, i looked out
and he was under the blacksmithshop
he loves to spend his time there
about half n hour later he's at the door, wanting in

5 minutes later he wanted back out again
so i opened the door
and he just stood there
looking out
he turned around and came back in
i shut the door
and he gave me this most grieved meow

i said to him
but i can't control the weather

kc had no more requests to go out the rest of the day
he must have decided i knew what i meant when i told him it was cold.

comfortable

kc is curled up on my feet
he just makes himself comfortable

and i don't mind a bit

shopaholics

welp
i should have gone to klines and gotten the stuff i needed
or waited and got it on tues night on my way home from work

instead, i went to walmart this afternoon
and spent almost 175.00

i got myself a portable cd player and some sort of interesting thingy that i can plug in and it plays across the car radio
which is really nice because my car cd player eats cd's and the tape player doesnt work right either, i've tried the tape that plugs into a portable cd player. and my original cd player is broken.
and i got three christmas cds. i like christmas music. i buy more christmas cds than any music.
so, of course, i sat in the parking lot and put batteries in the cd player and in the other thingy, and plugged them together. and then i fiddled with the buttons on that thing, and figured out how it worked. and wonder of wonders, it actually works!

got a few games for the kids for christmas
got my grocery supplies that i went for and water
got the last 35mm film developed

i was good tho
i headed towards the book section, then stopped myself
i'll be spending enough money, i don't need anything else that i don't need

frigid

it is frigid and windy outside
but that's ok
it fits the inside

kc

that goofy cat of mine

i got up this morning, and made myself a sandwich before i left for the station
he wanted out
he kept going to the deck door or the kitchen door, meowing
and coming back to me with a question in his meow
he wanted out
and i wasnt abt to let him out, because i would be ready to bring him back inside before he wanted
(i don't let him outside when i'm not home)
so i was mean, and told him, no, you can't go out.

he's been doing real well, lately, abt not running out the door when i leave
today, he was at my feet as i headed to the door
under my feet, actually
meowing
looking up at me

he wanted out

so, i walked to the deck room, he's right at my feet
and i got out the carrier,
he walked right into it
and he went along to the station with me

this is his favorite place in the office
today, he hopped up there, while i had my back turned
-while i was in the middle of copying charts-
i had to remove him


and when we came home, no more grumpings to go outside

i headed up to the BR come bedtime
sat on the pot, turned the tub water to a trickle for him
he likes to lap the running water
i often play zuma on my phone, as i wait for him to finish
of course, then, i continue playing till i lose
and as i'm sitting on the pot playing zuma on my cell phone,
he is curled up abt 6 inches from my feet
with his head facing me
waiting for me to finish

and right now, he just jumped up on my back
he's kneading my back
pretty soon he'll lay down on my back
his butt against my ear
his tail down over my shoulder


in other news, krista got herself a very nice 8 pt this afternoon
michael got his yesterday, a 4 pt
both of them are quite happy
and i think dave is prouder of them and their buck than they are.
he played the teaching father very well, these past 2 days.

traditions

we made candy today, while the mighty hunters were out in the rain
had a few misshaps, of course

if i ever suggest making 2 batches of peanut butter cups, beth is going to yell at me
we made peanut butter cups till they were coming out our ears

my nephew was the only mighty hunter today
and beth says, his buck just stood there and said "shoot me"
first buck, 4 pt, one shot and down
he is thrilled to pieces
we've been teasing him abt having a black and blue shoulder
tis funny

its odd, seeing the next generation come along and enjoy the same traditions we had when we were kids
the candy making on the first day of deer season is a new tradition, brought by beth and joanna, tho
but the kids sure enjoy looking out the window watching the deer run across the pasture up thru the fields and past dave's shack, same as we used to.

reeked

ok, so today, well, yesterday by now, was certainly different than saturday
i felt like i reeked of smoke and burnt flesh all day today
no matter where i went, i smelled it
the ER assured me that was not so, so i took their word for it
but i still smelled it

and i went to harrisburg twice today, back to back
and before i got back, darryl was headed to harrisburg as well

long

i do believe that today has been the longest day at work in a long long time
it just took all day and then some to finally get to 11 am, then to 2 pm, then its not even 4 pm yet, and finally it was 6 20 and darryl will be here in abt 15 minutes.

goal

76. thanksgiving dinner today was yummy
77. played skip-bo after the dishes were done, that was fun
78. my furnace keeps my house warm
79. i can afford to buy oil to keep me warm
80. kc's leg appears to be fine, he still owns the house
81. the bat didnt do any more damage than make me paranoid
82. jco hugs
83. reconnecting with old friends
84. snail mail
85. email
86. voice mail
87. my baked corn was good today
88. and the cake and cookies went over very well, too
89. plans are all made for monday's candy day
90. i'm well on my way to reaching my goal
91. sheila and krista are spending the night with me sunday night
92. angels in disguise
93. my md friends
94. md
95. bossman and boss jr
96. the trailblazer
97. the colorado trip this fall with 2 aunts
98. air travel
99. books
100. walls

there, i did it
100 things to be thankful for, by thanksgiving day.