kitten

i still keep thinking of the scrawny little black kitten
read this posting 
and then read  this one

why is it so hard for me to accept something good?

accomplishments

i go back to work tomorrow
joy joy fun fun
have 4 partially finished charts waiting on me
and i will need to finish up the pedi bag for jco
and i need to finish the skills competency form
and i need to quick do some online con ed
and i need to fill out my command paperwork for 2007
and do a drug order
dunno if there is more on my to do list or not, yet

been working on a sudoku puzzle that has 16 blocks to it, instead of the regular 9
j brought it over on monday the 23rd, when he was here fixing the heater duct
that thing is quite frustrating
i whited it all out, on saturday,
cause i goofed and put an 8 in the wrong square
i'll feel like i have accomplished something, once its done

antidote

well, was up at the cabin this evening
d and his family are spending the wkend up there
had quite the entertaining evening, playing marbles with s
and m was quite helpful in giving me hints
s was quite perturbed at him!

twas a good antidote for loneliness
for abt 2 hrs, that is

i need to spend more time with my nieces and nephews

loneliness

how does a person deal with loneliness? 

masseuse

sure is nice having my own personal
welllll
i was going to say, its nice to have my own personal masseuse
but then i went to dictionary.com to figure out how to spell it
and the definition is:
a woman who provides massage as a profession or occupation.

and i cant call kc a woman
he be a male cat, ya know

he walks all over me, and massages my back when he does
and then he hops off my back, comes to my face
and shoves his face under my hands
so that i have to scratch his chin in payment for the massage

special

i am feeling really really special tonight
just look at this, folks!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 2 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

even better, is the fact that i know the other person who has my name!
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dont no one dare spoil my fun by telling me its a fake website  
i am enjoying my day of being special!

ready

these three days off have been wonderful
absolutely wonderful
why, as i was towelling off after my shower,
i realized that i was actually ready to go to work again

what i'm not ready for tho, is to come out of hiding
i'm still hiding behind that wall
the wall that doesnt protect me as well as it once did

missie

this posting is for you, missie
am thinking of you today
and hoping the day isnt too hard for you 

helping

 kc is totally worn out
he's lying on a kitchen chair
abt 2 ft away from me
left paw up against the back of the chair
snoring away

we were outside today, planting bulbs
and he was "helping"
he batted at my garden trowel
and my hands
and my arms
he dug in the ground
he rolled in the holes i dug
he chased my hands
and generally was a whole lot of help

now i've got a filthy cat who is gonna wanna sleep on my bed

tonight

tonight is a blah night
not sure why

am feeling grumpy
and irritable
and insecure

(ok, ok, so i do know what my prob is
i'll be over it in a day or so)

just as long as i get my 3 days off
tues wed and thur
i'll be ok, i'm sure

nagging

i was listening to a program this evening
weekend magazine, i think its called
now i dont like dobson, and i switch the station rather than listen to him
but this caught my ear, as i was cycling thru stations,
(trying to get away from it)
some guy was talking
not sure if he was a pastor? or if he was a comedian?
but anyways

he was saying that guys have to be asked several times before they will do something
that asking a guy once to do something, is basically the same as never asking him
he says guys are wired that way
the first request goes in one ear,
does a complete 180, and out the same ear
and its not till several reminders later, that it actually sinks in that he is to do something

and he was quite serious abt it
apparently, according to him, there was a study done abt it
but, i didnt get to hear the rest of hte clip, cause i headed into klines

now, i've always considered asking someone more than once or twice to be nagging
and i hate to be a nag
and so i shut up
and then fume because i end up having to do it myself

so guys
what say you?
do you do something around the house the first time you are asked?
what constitutes nagging?

heat

i'm inclined to think
that when a person can see steam rising from the bathtub,
that its time to turn the heat up in the house
.
.
.
.
.
.
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ahh
i'll wait a bit longer
surely it'll get warmer again, before it gets cold to stay
i'll just wear a sweatshirt in hte kitchen
and i'll just get another blanket for my bed

roof

stepped on the scales to day at work
and its a good thing i was anchored to the floor, cause i almost went thru the roof

which?

Lace or Ribbon? am not a frilly person, i'd prefer they be kept off my clothes
Mountain or Beach? mountain, not fond of being around a whole crowd of folks i dont know
Reading or Writing? reading
Cookie or Cake? cookie i guess, easier to eat on the run
Baked or Mashed Potato? either
Side or Back? back initially, then side in hte morning, cause my back hurts so badly
Shrimp or Steak? definitely steak, shrimp makes me ill
Scrambled or Fried? no preference, poached is a comfort food
Orange or Apple? orange, apples when traveling
Spring or Fall? spring, i always do off the cuff things in spring
Roller Skating or Bowling? dunno, prob bowling, am not good on ice skates at all
DVD or Theater movies? depends on if i am watching alone, i guess
Wood or Glass? for what?
Blue or Green? blue of course
Chocolate or Vanilla? depends on the day, cherry vanilla is quite good, actually
Quilt or Knit? handsewing rather than quilting, so.... knitting, i guess
Early Morning or Late Night? mornings are for the birds, not me
Coffee or Tea? neither
Watermelon or Strawberry? strawberry, i gots my own strawberry bed now
Lunch or Dinner? lunch and supper, no confusion there
Cold Cereal or Oatmeal? cold cereal, no sugar
Song or Dance? Song
Carpet or Hardwood Floor? carpet, i think
Red or Pink? not fond of pink on me, red is too bright
Cat or Dog? mr kc. wouldnt have it any other way
Pretzels or Chips? Chips, grandma utz's, to be exact
Iced Tea or Lemonade? lemonade, well, how abt pink grapefruit juice
Non-Fiction or Fiction? both serve a purpose
Rose or Daisy? rose, i guess
Sunrise or Sunset? whats a sunrise?
Comb or Brush? comb
Pottery or Basket? basket
Bracelet or Necklace? does a watch count?
Pen or Pencil? pen, a good paramedic always has a pen available
Couch or Chair? no preference, actually, only have recliner, no couch
Country or Victorian? victorian? me be prissy? hardly! i guess country
Farm or Ranch? Farm, lots of memories
Braid or Ponytail? up in a bun, gotta get that hair out of my way
Cash or Check? be careful with a debit card
Chocolate Bar or Jelly Bean? chocolate bar by far
Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
Hot Dog or Cheeseburger? cheeseburger gotta have that chz on there
Blinds or Curtains? curtains
Dress or Skirt? either
Sun or Moon? sunny days
Adventure or Comedy? adventure, better yet, chick flick
Cloud or Star? Stars
Lake or River? dunno, lake i guess
Half Full or Half Empty? depends on my mood that day
Truck or Car? have a car, wouldnt mind a trailblazer some day
Bath or Shower? usually tubbie
Clothesline or Clothes Dryer? dryer, actually hinted to dad abt a clothesline, i'm really becoming domesticated
New or Second Hand? new, most times, x for a car
Gum or Lifesaver? lifesaver
Email or Handwritten? email, much easier to read, then my handwriting
July or October? hmmmmmm, july, days are longer
Barefoot or Shoes? barefoot inside, shoes outside 

anything else you would like to know?

mixture

today has been a mixture of good and bad, of success and failures

failure: started out today with a really sick guy
and the iv infiltrated on me just as we were pulling into hte ER
so i had to go into the ER, with no line in this guy

good: to stop with centrals crew for brunch
it was a nice time
thanks for the invite

bad: 2nd call, confusing
she wouldnt give me a straight answer
and i couldnt figure out if her prob had resolved or not

good: worked on charts for awhile, 2 done almost
left me with 1 plus
bad: and the pager goes again, almost 6 pm

bad: hispanic lady, no english at all
traumatic injury
success:sustained while doing a very heroic act
success: found a translator in the crowd, and she did wonders

failure: but once again
i took a pt into the ER with no line
twice in one day is unacceptable, and i was beating myself up abt it

bad: and the hosp medic comes in with a truly ill pt
and they go to 3
i step in to see if i could help a bit
bad: and realize its an elderly lady who i know
she has several other ties to me as well
and she says" what are you doing here, bets?"
in hte middle of complaining of the pain due to the external pacer
and utter anxiety
success: and so i walk up to her head
and that becomes my spot
i tell her whats happening, i keep her focus on me
and encourage her while she is getting a temporary pacemaker inserted
good: i watch her bp rise from nothing to quite acceptable
and then bring her family in
adn i slip out
bad: am now really late, its after 7
and i've kept central's crew waiting for at least half an hr while i was with her
good: comm center tells me my truck is at the station

head back to central with central's crew
good: and before i leave, i'm offered supper, t cooked
oh pity, its almost 8, i wanted to go home, but i'm hungry, havent eaten since 11
so, i had lasagna, salad and cheesy garlic bread
very good
thanks again, t and m
it was very good

bad: realize my gas is low
and ponder waiting till morning to gas up
and decide, no, i wont get up early enough in hte am,
and might run out of gas on my way to jco
which would be a bad thing
good: so i stop at the minit mart in town and fill up
and out comes s
are you just now getting home, justme?
yeah
good: we stood in the parking lot and talked for 15 min
it was sorta like old times
standing behind the station, talking abt current events
back then, it was station stuff
now its ER stuff
bad: and he tells me that my friend started dropping her bp again

success: i'm glad i could be there, earlier this evening

randomness

kc doesnt wake me up at 6 am, anymore
and i finally figured out why
its because i started giving him more food
so that he has some left until morning
he be a happy cat now

i've stopped buying diet soda
for several reasons,
1. a reaction to my 37.00 mcdonalds meal that i havent been able to forget
2. cause its diet, gonna listen to the nutso's who tell me its not good for me
(ok, ok, not the nutso's, cause dad reminds me that every time)
(and he's not a nutso. i promise!)
3. as an adjunct in weight control
so, because i dont like regular soda all that well
its much to sickly sweet
i've been just drinking water, for the most part

that was all in preparation for the next random thot
guess that means the previous one wasnt random, i guess
anyways

was thirsty this afternoon, when i was up at the hosp
and thot abt pink grapefruit juice
but decided to go for an orange soda
regular soda, not diet
and was bored on hte way back,
g was driving,
he had already tried to knock me off my feet by going around a curve
while i was standing
then just laughed at me
and i'm sitting there, looking at hte nutrition info on this soda bottle
and realized
all 20 ounces of this orange soda gives me 74 grams of carbs
um
the daily values tells me its 25% of a 2000 cal diet
ummm
umm
one quarter of the RDA of sugar forms is in this 20 ounces of soda?
suddenly the soda wasnt so good any more
and i pitched the remainder of it

guess i'm gonna stick with my water
guess there was a reason i didnt like reg soda

and tonight after i got home from work
i took care of some bathroom needs of mine
(downstairs BR, the routine is a bit diff downstairs)
he came over
pawed open the door
looked up at me
and walked away
i finished, washed up, opened the door
and there he was
in his litter box
peeing

i think thats enough of info for tonight
dont you?

the children

Can you hear the prayer of the children
on bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room?
Empty eyes with no more tears to cry,
turning heavenward toward the light.

Cryin' Jesus help me to see the mornin' light of one more day,
but if I should die before I wake,
I pray my soul to take.

Can you feel the hearts of the children
aching for home, for something of their very own?
Reaching hands with nothing to hold on to,
but hope for a better day, a better day.

Cryin' Jesus help me to feel the love again in my own land,
but if unknown roads lead away from home,
give me loving arms, away from harm.

Can you hear the voice of the children
softly pleading for silence in their shattered world?
Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate,
blood of the innocent on their hands.

Cryin' Jesus help me to feel the sun again upon my face.
For when darkness clears, I know you're near,
bringing peace again.

Da-li cu-je te sve dje-cje mol-it-ve?
Can you hear the prayer of the children?


Lyric and Music by Kurt Bestor
Performed by Inside Out Acapella
Listen to it here

 

kc

that goofy cat of mine lays on the floor between my feet when i am on the pot
consistently