thinking

between this sermon and this comment on md by cb, i've had a lot of things to think abt today.

"There is a really good friend of mine that is GREAT at polishing and straightening out halos. All you have to do is ask Him and He will gladly do it for you. He is awesome! Sometimes when I come to Him, His eyes look so sad as He looks at my bent and muddy halo. . I feel so terrible when I see a tear in His eye as he looks at the damage I have done. but He never berates me. He just starts polishing and straightening again. then he hands it back to me... all nice and shiny... so shiny that it looks like a crown..."

i want a shiny halo, not a bent and tarnished one

better

lets try this again
much better, i must say

i'm still grumpy and irritable this evening
and gonna stay that way for a bit, i think

why?
just cause i wanna be, i guess
actually, theres a reason for it
but, im not sharing that reason

i'm just not

grumbl

i am still grumpy and irritable this evening
and the grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
hte ddlkjdl
hte qr t button int working jut now
grrr
i gue i hall attmpt to perform urgery on my laptop
now th

i'll;f b bfakfa i hop

infection

well, after several dr visits
after lab work,
an ultrasound,
a CT abd chest neck,
a biopsy of hte lump,
more lab work
the verdict is in

mr kc has infected me

cat scratch disease
at least its not anything more serious
now i gotta get the prescription for zithromax filled
and i'll be set to go

creek

kc was lying on my feet this evening
and started nipping at my foot
and so i kicked at him, and of course he just got persistent
so i squirted him with a mix of water/vinegar
and he took off downstairs

abt 5 min he came back upstairs
and curled up on hte window sill
and now, is back to hte foot end of my bed

its raining outside
sounds quite relaxing
there's lots of weeds growing in my garden
i checked this evening
and hte creek is rising
just hoping it doesnt rise too far
i kinda wanna keep my garden
i'd prefer it not be flooded under

grrrrrrrrr

been a bit blue yesterday and today
moody
whiney
clingy
teary
insecure

grrrrrrrr
i dont appreciate it at all
go away!

i'll be fine, again, soon, i promise :)


working hte hosp tomorrow
another call off
and switchering of schedules to get it all covered
and the worst?
i've had to be the one to ok the OT
bossman is on vacation

tomorrow

tomorrow should be an semi interesting day
gotta call the doc office, return their call
go to the surgeon to find out hte results of hte biopsy

then to neonatal resuscitation class
recert
for 2 hrs

and after that, station time

today
was today, nothing interesting happening today
went to lunch with big al, cathy, kelli
to kfc
came home, took a nap, was tired
then to hte garden, pulled weeds again
and picked some lettuce and brought it inside

made myself a chx salad again
and then, listened to the tstorm
at least it wasnt dark, and i wasnt in my iron bed

al

big al beeped me today
(today being wednesday, not thur as blogger will say it is)
are you working today?
hosp or jco?
wanna meet me for lunch?

sure

so, big al and i ate chinese together
it was nice to get caught up in his life again
its been a long time since we had a meal together
and even nicer was the fact that he thot of me

relaxing

its amazing how relaxing my garden is
however, its just a hobby for me
i'm sure if i had to have one,
if i had a huge family to feed out of it...
it wouldnt be fun anymore, it would be work

but even more fun than the garden is?
is taking a shower, and watching myself get clean
just watching the dirt roll off
makes me feel like the shower was worth it!

made myself a yummy salad this evening
started out with chicken breast, half inch by half inch chunks more or less
put some butter in the skillet, dumped a handful of chx in it
some mrs dash, and some italian seasoning
and sauteed the chx
lettuce and onion in the bottom of my bowl
then shredded mozzarello chz
and the chx on top of that, and covered the bowl with a lid
so that the heat of hte chx would melt the chz
and a few min later, i put a little bit of italian drsg on it
and tossed it all together
YUMMY
mom says, where did you come up with that idea?
dunno, but it was good

season

?? Which Season Are You ??

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...You're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is.Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons :)
Take this quiz!

is this quiz accurate?

wander

had one wreck today that was refusals, got cancelled on it

and come 5 pm ish, and i am bored
was wishing i had brought my lawn chair along
went walking around to the front of central's building
and found a little white bench, donated by MADD
its in the middle of a little stone garden
with mini roses all around, such a sweet smell
and a flowing water fountain
and a flag thats flapping in the breeze

and so i sat down on the bench
leaned my head back
closed my eyes
and luxuriated in the sun and roses and the sounds of water and flag
and let my mind just wander

from subject to subject
with no rhyme nor reason
from clinton, to the wreck, to my fixing of the glucometer prob, to bossman and his vacation, to QA changes, to md, to cb, to stoltz, to kc and his collar, to joel_n, to peaches and her mom, to the brakes on my car, to TS, to plans for tomorrow, to cat scratch disease, to m deF and how he went with me on the wreck today and how he seems to have latched onto me, to rc and his grumping abt my stories, to da and his compliment on me finding my own way after i made the wrong turn, to 4 wheelin' in hte mountain hte other wk and lots of blackberries, to enjoying hte breeze, to breathing in the scent of the roses, to how mom helped with kc's incision, to mom ordering more coverings for me, to the covering thread, to the fc burning the remains of the shed, to my radishes, to my strawberry patch, to how warm it was becoming and maybe its time to go back inside now

happy

well, kc got his collar taken off this evening
i wasnt gonna do it until tomorrow
figured i would be home monday then, to see how he behaved with his incision
its looking really good
not red anymore
not draining
he's starting to jump again,
he was up on my dresser and on the BR window sill

tonight, he starts making all sorts of racket
he's got his toe stuck in hte collar
so i undid his toe
and he continued to roll back and forth
so of course, i investigated further
here he had the edge of hte collar in his mouth
poor cat
(glad he didnt do that, while i was at work)
(that would not have been a pretty sight to come home to)

so, i take the collar off of him
and he allows me to take it off without going nutso while i'm messing with it
now, he's here, scratching his neck
cleaning his face
after all, it hasnt been cleaned for almost a week

kc's gotta be a happy kitty, now

dinner

started out at 1230 to get bbq chx
had to go to sheetz to get cash, before i could get my chix
realized i left my pager at the station, so i was gonna have to turn around and go back and get it
turned on hte radio in the suburban, and heard, *address*, unresponsive person, amb **, medic **
grrrr
so instead of turning around, i went on to the call
it was a legit call
got back to the county at 1418
and to the station, picked up the pager
then to sheetz, got some soda, and a liter of water
got my cash from the atm
and headed into m*town
wasnt sure where i was going, just had general directions
down over cross st, to hte 4 way stop, hmm, looked around, decided to go right
nope, wasnt it
made a few rights, back onto cross st, back to the 4 way stop
decide to go straight
hmm, nothing there, right onto cedar st, and found a bbq pit but no one there
NO ONE
so i nextelled g
where does the fc do their chx?
ok, ok
turned around, back onto cross st from cedar st
and went the only way left at the 4 way stop
by this time i'm a bit irritated
is chx worth all this?
good grief, there is absolutely no parking here
NONE
i pull in front of a few pickup trucks that have m*town fc vanity plates
hop out
and one of hte guys is getting into his truck
i have him parked in
"do you need out?"
yes, i have to deliver some chx
grrrrrrr
i got in my suburban and LEFT
they just lost a sale

so, i went and got chinese for dinner
and wouldnt you know?
it was pathetic too

write

i'm tired this evening, and dont know what to write abt

i could write abt kc
adn how that his incision is looking much better
and how that he is doing quite well, with that collar on

or i could write abt my day at work
jco kept all their calls bls, didnt upgrade anything
i only had one call, chest discomfort, gave me an hr+ of OT

or i could write abt how my friend got married this past monday
i guess he doesnt need me as a mother figure anymore
and i guess i lost a driver

or i could write abt how i just felt so "shlunky" (as mom would say) today
tired, headache, slightly nauseated, craving chocolate
and how i needed the AC turned on in the amb, to keep from puking

or i could write abt how i wanted to work in my garden this evening
but getting home at 9 pm sorta changed that plan
wanna plant some beans, soon, and pick my strawberries again

or i could write abt how i dont have any ambition to write a posting tonight
so i guess i wont write one
i'll just head off to bed, soon

have a great night everyone

mom

well, kc has been much more managable lately
he hasnt been prowling or meowing
he hasnt been spraying
he's been loving and cuddly

his incision, he has infected
but its looking better, since mom is helping me
we are cleaning it with dial soap and water
and putting weakened iodine on it

he's quite funny with the collar on
i laugh at him

i've got hte best mom in the world
she has been coming over and helping me with kc
and cats arent her specialty
she would do anything for me, i believe
so yes, i've got the best mom in the world

laughter

that poor cat of mine
i've been laughing at him this evening
you'd think i didnt like him
as mean and nasty as i have been to him, lately

well, actually, i've been attempting to take care of him

anyways, this evening i put a collar on him
to prevent him from licking at his incison
laugh!
he's banging into things, cause its in his way
he's waddling his head when he walks
he's backing up in fear
and backing hte whole way across the kitchen
its just funny!

my little neighbor girl has huge plans for me
she says we are going to make her a clubhouse in her trampoline
she has walls on her trampoline
and i suggested putting sheets on the walls to make herself one
she had asked, if you got a new shed, would you let me make a clubhouse in it?
so i had told her, thats what she could do
and she promptly said that i could help her
and told her dad that i was gonna help her build a clubhouse in the trampoline
oh pity
that means i'll be her hero

oh well,
theres worse things
lots worse things

kc is sleeping against my shoulder just now

collar

kc's incision is getting infected
i need to get him a collar tomorrow
the prob is, i'm not here enough, to keep him from licking at it
and this wkend, when i realized that he was licking a lot
the vet wasnt open
and now i have to get a collar tomorrow
but it will be after work, before i finally get it on him
i hope he doesnt get sick, in the meantime
i thot abt throwing him in hte tub
so that it washes off, but thats sorta a nasty trick

collar

kc's incision is getting infected
i need to get him a collar tomorrow
the prob is, i'm not here enough, to keep him from licking at it
and this wkend, when i realized that he was licking a lot
the vet wasnt open
and now i have to get a collar tomorrow
but it will be after work, before i finally get it on him
i hope he doesnt get sick, in the meantime
i thot abt throwing him in hte tub
so that it washes off, but thats sorta a nasty trick

tired

got the old shed torn down, today
the guys came over, around 3 and ripped it down
lwd came over to help too
and then, i fed them supper
we had a nice time

it was a bit chilly today
which was kinda nice
it made for much nicer working conditions

i have discovered,
that i am not used to kids asking questions all the time
to kids following me around and asking questions
and more questions
and helping "getting in my way" when i am attempting to do something
i had to stop myself from telling them to get out of my way

i'm tired tonight

fond

well, i'm certainly not fond of iv contrast dye

that stuff burned my throat
made my palms feel hot
and as s put it, it'll make you think you peed yourself
but you didnt, i promise

and he was right, i didnt

and that barium junk?
that slimy, citrusy, chalky, pukable stuff?
i had 2 of those bottles to drink
both of htem, i got to abt 30 cc left in each
and HAD to stop
yuck

better

kc feels better today
and so do i

he's still walking a bit gingerly
but hes much more active than yesterday
and he talking again
he's not just laying limp on hte floor
i gave him a bit of food this afternoon
and that has worked out just fine

the funny thing is, kc acted just like i do, when i am sick
wanting to be near someone, but not asking for anything
being quiet, keeping to myself

domesticated

in other news for today
i proved once again, that i am becoming domesticated
i stopped at the greenhouse
and bought some plants
peppers, tomatoes, cabbage, watermelon
and then, after i came home, and gave kc some quality time
i headed out to the garden
and pulled weeds
and planted my purchases

s came over, and was "helping" me plant
until her gram came and the two of them left
lwd came over, brought me some station money
and then, abt half an hr later, he's taking his granddau for a garden tractor ride
and they come over to visit me

then i pulled some radishes
cut some lettuce
and took it inside
and made myself a salad for supper
it was pretty good

sure is fun taking a shower, when i can see myself getting clean ;)

horrid

oh man
i feel so horrid, this evening

kc is not feeling good at all
he is moping around
he just sprawls out where ever he happens to be
he staggers when he walks
he looks at me with these pitiful eyes
i had to carry him up the steps, this evening
and he just laid limp in my arms
i picked him up wrong and he whimpered
he has no interest in water
i tried to give him a bit, but he wouldnt take it
he's been npo for abt 24 hrs, now
he has a 4-5 inch incision in his belly
the vet had to go up in, and get that undescended testicle

but see, i can't have him marking his territory as being my pillow
even worse, with my head on the pillow
so i had to get that testicle removed

but i'm feeling so horrid right now
why did i ever put him thru this?

change

kc goes back tomorrow, to get that undescended testicle taken out
hopefully that will fix his attitude problem

he's being really loving tonight
i think he thinks that he might get me to change my mind
aint gonna work, kc, aint gonna work

supper

no kc story tonight
i shall refrain myself from talking abt him

and not gonna talk abt work

so what shall i talk abt, tonight?
well
i guess that doesnt leave much
x for my garden

i went out to the garden with a knife and a bowl, after work tonight
pulled some radishes
cut some leaf lettuce
and hten, picked 2 handfuls of strawberries
brought everything inside
made myself a salad with the lettuce and radishes, added a bit of chz
put some sugar on hte strawberries

and that was my supper

and then, after that
i paid bills

i liked hte supper
i didnt like the bills

upset

another kc story?
listen up

i was so horridly upset at that cat this morning
he woke me up at 4 30 this morning
prowling around, meowing
and on my bed, above my head
i put up my hand up over my head
and was grumping at him, half asleep
kc be quiet
what do you want
why dont you just go away?

and doesnt he spray on my hand
i was instantly awake
yelled at him
over to the br, scrubbed myself down
and locked him out of my bedroom
didnt have much to say to him before i left

called the vet today
when i had him neutered, he only had one testicle descended
vet said, most times that 2nd testicle doesnt creat much probs
but if it does, bring him back, and i'll go up in and get it
well, he's going back to the vet
on monday morning, i might add
and he's going to learn a lesson or two

got home late this evening
he's all lovey
we come upstairs to my bedroom
and he promptly heads over to my laundry basket
and starts to pee
yelled at him again
and he went running
and prowls all thru my bedroom, and squats again
and i yelled at him again
stupid cat has a stubborn streak a mile wide

but
if i have to get rid of him,
it'll be proof that i am not cut out to love anyone thru thick and thin

good

been a mix of good and bad today
the good?
got a bunch of phone calls made,
and the bender award basically chosen
got my laundry done, the floors swept, and mopped
got my dishes done
the cousins were here for game night
we played catch phrase
then had cake, strawberries and ice cream
kc is becoming more more sociable
even came willingly to my aunt, to be petted