someday

someday, and someday soon, im gonna have to get some sort of nasty stuff to put on those cords to train him right
im getting tired of yelling at kc, and then putting him outside my bedroom door cause he wont listen, cause he thinks he has to test me.
i want him on my bed, not on the other side of the door

later

well, i was gonna post a pic of kc's kiss, but blogger wont let me
so, i guess i wont
or maybe i'll try later

apprehensive

its been an expensive day today
went up to home appliances and bought out the store
(well, i guess its down)
at least thats what it feels like
bought a new refrig, with 2 tiny dents in it, for basically half price
bought a used stove, washer and dryer as well
and all for less than a top of the line new refrig
so im pretty well pleased with everything
took most of yesterdays paycheck tho

jon came up, and hauled the stuff home for me
then dad, dave, tim came over and drug the stuff inside
and set it up
and i fed them hoagies for supper
with the hoagies and with what i gave jon for gas,
its basically the same as their delivery fee
and i got everything set up and ready to go

am feeling a bit apprehensive tonight
not sure what tomorrow will bring

rascal

that little rascal of a cat
he was chewing on my cords this morning, i yelled at him
he paid no attention to me
so, i get up, pick him up, fully intending on putting him outside hte bedroom door and closing it
doesnt he relax, and start to purr the minute i pick him up
and of course, i couldnt banish him from my presence after that
the little snot

looks

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

i hope this is me

proposal

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

After dinner at your favorite restaurant, at the spot where you first kissed.

What's Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

i find it highly doubtful that i will ever experience that.

reputation

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl

You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out. Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it!

What's Your Reputation?

yeah, i know im a loner

confidence

Your Vibe Is Secretly Sexy

Sexy isn't exactly a word you'd use to describe yourself But you have a quiet allure that certain men feel appealing You don't need to flaunt your stuff to be sexier A little more confidence in yourself, and you'll really light up a room!

How Sexy Is Your Vibe?

hah
confidence is a good thing
but it wont help me

relationship

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

hmmmmm

food

You Are French Food

Snobby yet ubiquitous. People act like they understand you more than they actually do.

What Kind of Food Are You?

hehe!
yeah, i guess i tend to be reserved and not let folks get to close to me
didnt think i was snobby tho!

perturbed

i was a bit perturbed with kc this morning
at 5AM, (i never get up at 5AM, even when i work)
at 5AM, he comes trotting up over me, and sticks his face in mine
and im sure theres a huge motor in him somewhere
and i roll over
and he continues to get in my face
so i come downstairs with him
and back up to bed, and crawl in

he lets me alone for abt 2 hrs
and abt 7, hes back in my face
tickling my face with his whiskers
talking to me
walking all over me

i rolled over
i put the sheet over my head (ooops, cant breathe now)
i pushed him off
i pushed him off again
i rolled to the other side
i pushed him off
i put hte sheet over my head, and he promptly walked on my head
he laid down on my head, adn just laid there
so i pushed him off, and down on the floor
snuggled in
and up he comes again
I CANT SLEEP
by this time its 9 30, and my alarm is going off
mind you, i havent slept at all since 7 and barely since 5
sooooooo
i get up
i pick him up
and i put him outside the bedroom door
and i CLOSE THE DOOR IN HIS FACE
and i go back to bed until shortly after 11

btw, if im sleeping, dont wake me up and expect me to be all lovey
wont happen
im a grump when i get woke up

argumentative

gonna try my best to stay out of an argument this time
MD is starting a thread on christianity and feminism
my big mouth got me into trouble the other time, so i shall shut up and watch for awhile, this time.

kc rules my house
and he thinks he can dig his claws into my leg and climb up
he hurts!
he drew blood tonight

lonely

picked up this elderly lady today, who lived in a camper, way back in hte boonies, with a dog, 2 cats, 2 bunnies, and a banty rooster. of course there wasnt a whole lot i was gonna do for her, the call should have been bls, and it was a 55 min transport time, so i sat there and listened to her talk abt her animals, and asked a question or 2 every so often, and she just jabbered away.

and the whole time im thinking,
this is gonna be me in abt 30 yrs

lonely
old
no one who really cares
surrounded by cats
talking to myself
talking to the cats

i know, i been hibernating lately
i guess i need to make an effort to get out more

surprise

mom stopped in today, to get some of my empty boxes to burn
she tells me that she opened hte door, came inside
and kc comes running from the kitchen
he skidded to a stop when he saw it wasnt me
and he had the funniest look on his face
he just hunched himself up and looked at her
and wouldnt come near

oh, and she also says i have him spoiled
i tend to not agree with that statement!

xanga

waaaaa
*pounds head on table*

am i gonna have to break down and get a xanga profile, just so i can comment on xanga blogs?
theres some interesting blogs im finding, thanks to MD, and i cant comment!
course, maybe they dont want me commenting on their thots
who knows

looking for lunch, what shall i get today?
not interested in chinese today
or McD's
there's BK, but not enthused by it
subway, ahhh
OIP, to far away
foxes, too expensive today
family house, sitdown? too pretentious for being at work
the stop? sitdown, much less pretentious while at work
sheetz, i pay them enough of my money for food
Jacks, been a long time since i been there

i sound like a typical ems person
what are we doing for lunch today?
i'm hungry
but cant seem to find anything that catches my interest today

subdued

kc is quite subdued this evening
he got 2 shots today
and scheduled for a neutering
shhhhh, (he doesnt know that yet)
he is lying on my bed, curled up
and doesnt even wake up when i pet him
oh, he weighed 4.8 lb today
was up from 3.2 a month ago

i got a call from work this evening
will you come to work tomorrow? its at central
grrr, i only have one clean shirt
was gonna do my laundry tomorrow
that'll teach me to not do it my first day off
but
its 8 hrs of OT, thats always a good thing

talked to mom for awhile tonight
she might be stopping after work for some of the boxes
told her how she has to open and shut the door so that kc doesnt run out
im sure that kc wouldnt come for her, if she left him out
so, i hope he stays inside

boring

i gotta figure out how to put a counter on here
i have no idea if anyone reads my ramblings or not
well, theres few i know that read it
but they rarely let any comments
am i that boring?

kc

kc has this endearing little habit
i'll be laying on my bed, with my laptop and he'll come up to me,and lick the tip of my nose. course i smile at him, then i wipe his kiss off my nose.
he lays btw the laptop and my chest, draped over one of my arms
or he lays on my back, purring
sometimes he's off to the side, at the head end of my bed
or he'll drape himself on my feet

now, wanna hear the bad thing abt kc?
he sticks his rear in my face when he is turning around, curling up btw the laptop and my chest, and
and
his butt stinks
so,i put his tail down, and i turn him around rather quickly
and life is good again

obliging

sitting here at central today
my chair was very glad for my company this morning
and i was glad to oblige it.
i've been quite tired the past several days.

to McD's for lunch then, i cheated
had been considering subway, but i cheated

and now, am sitting here, in front of my computer once again.
been spending quite a bit of time on MD, lately
it will soon be 4pm
i have off tomorrow, and tues

kc goes to the vet for his next set of shots tomorrow
i'm thinking he wont be as docile as he was the first time
but at least i have mom's pet taxi, now.
that will be much nicer than a cardboard box that wouldnt shut right

tubbing

kc went tubbing this evening
he finally managed to fall into the tub
after several evenings of walking on the ledge, watching me clean, he got tangled up in the shower curtain, and down into the water
he just stood there
wasnt nearly as funny as i envisioned it to be
so i picked him out, and put him on the floor, and he just stood there
HE JUST STOOD THERE
and i had to dry him off with a towel
he ruined my delicious thots of laughing at him

still snotting and ill
headed to bed early, tonight, i think

animal

You Are A: Bear Cub!

Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You won't back down from a fight, you have a bit of a temper -- classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Turtle or a Kitten
You are least like a: Squirrel or a ChipmunkWhat Cute Animal Are You?

injuries

here i am, lying in bed with a tissue showed up each nostril so i dont drip on the computer
kc is walking on my back, feels good, actually

back to work for hte first time in like 11 days.
i was just a bit apprehensive, on my first iv start in the ER
duh, i should know better, i can do iv's!

didnt have any calls today tho
was a horridly boring day, if i dare say so.
only place i went was to dunkin donuts for the daily ER coffee run

went out to do my rig check this morning, stepped up on the running board so that i could lean over into the middle of hte back seat so that i could actually see what i was doing, and promptly slipped right off
yes, it was rainy this morning

smacked the front of my leg against the running board, (rhoda steps, as bill calls them)

i stood there, adn whimpered a bit
checked out my right leg, just above my boot
HURT
went inside the ER, and they had no sympathy
they wanted to send me to occ health at 7 pm... wait until 7 PM, can you imagine? make me be at work all day, with a work inj. (thats as bad as the time beth made me set up my own suture kit, after i cut my finger washing the ER lounge dishes) (dream, it was a dream, remember?)
it hurts to walk on it, well, it did, thats better now
its been eccymotic, have this 2 inch long indent straight across my leg
and its swollen and sore for at least 5 inches in diameter
and no one would give me any sympathy,
im so deprived in human love.....

was funny! they all laughed at me
even dr hopkins did!

and of course, i survived
i always do

back to work

kc is lying on my feet, keeping them warm for me

i head back to work in the morning
not sure i want to get up at 5 30 again

oh well, will be good for me to get back on my schedule again

we had a very nice time this evening, playing pictionary
got a few pics
and had quite a few laughing sessions
was an enjoyable evening

oh and kc moved, he is sitting on my back , just now

proverbs

i saw this the other day, and wasnt tooo thrilled abt it
im going to post it anyways

Proverbs of Marriage
1. I write unto all the brethren, who have abstained from the snare of marriage, but especially unto those who are backslidden, and are considering entering into that untoward state.
2 For I say unto thee when thou goest out to find a woman, look well to thine thoughts, and consider the intentions of thine heart.
3 He that is married hath little enjoyment in life, for his helpmate doth help to empty his purse, and little else. Yea verily, I say unto you, she doth greatly curtail his spending on the basic necessities of life, namely bows, guns, new trucks, and motorcycles.
4 But she doth say unto him, Thou fool, thou shouldst have spent the money to take me shopping. And she doth serve him supper cold that night. And when thou goest out to take a deer, she doth nag on thee to fix the sink, which doth not drip very much and could easily wait until thou hast slain a large he deer to ornament thy wall.
5 And she realizeth not that thou doest it for her sake, that she may have meat to serve when the neighors come.
6 And when thou eatest at thy table, remember that no foul sounds may issue forth from thy mouth, and he that gobbleth his food and forgettest to offer thanks to she that made it doth sleep on the couch for a week.
7 And when thou art in the courtship process, thou must pay all her expenses from food to new shoes, which doth grow quite costly.
8 And I would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have entered that state, and would deceive you concerning it.
9 For many say that it is a beautiful thing to find a wife, but they know in their hearts that they lie.
10 For there is a saying concerning them, which runneth like this: Misery loves company. And so they would have thee enter that state, knowing the sadness that shall afterwards ensue.
11 Let not them sway thee in thy conviction, for there is a reason it is called the holy bonds of matrimony.
12 However, if it is still in thine heart to enter into such folly after this counsel, remember that thou must wake up beside her every morning, so ensure that she hath fairness of face and trimness of figure.
13 And look well to her mother, for that is likely how she shalt look in thirty years, if the Lord tarry. And be sure of one thing: that she hath a large talent toward cooking, and can make a good pie crust. For when thou losest thy teeth, thou dost not want to be gnawing upon tough pie crust and meat.
14 And if it is thy desire to be a minister, be sure that she teacheth Sunday School, playeth the piano, and looketh good at ministers meetings.
15 If thou desirest greatly to find a wife, there be many fair maidens in the far countries of CBS, SMBI, BMA, and HBS whom thou mayest ask out.
16 And now brethren, fear not, neither be afraid, for a large bank account awaiteth the man that abstaineth from marriage, and he shall take many fun trips.
17 And faithful and just is he that keepeth thee from falling, to appoint you unmarried unto the day of retirement. Amen.

All things written here become null and void if and when a girl comes along and sweeps me off my feet.
No offense is intended, either to women or to the Bible.

that is, until this version showed up
ty, tumbleweed

Proverbs of Marriage 2
1. I write unto all my sisters, who have abstained from the snare of marriage, but especially unto those who are backslidden, and are considering entering into that untoward state.
2. For I say unto thee when thou findest a man, look well to thine thoughts, and consider the intentions of thine heart.
3. She that is married hath little enjoyment in life, for her helpmate doth hold the purse, and little else. Yea verily, I say unto thee, he doth greatly curtail thy spending on the basic necessities of life, namely shoes, clothes, new furniture, and new cars.
4. But he doth say unto her, Thou fool, thou shouldst have spent the money to send me hunting. And thou must serve him supper every night. And when he goeth out to take a deer, thou must pack his lunch, and for many days of wandereth around in the woods, if he should find the he deer he seeketh, thou must then butcher it for his table, and hang the large he deer to ornament thy wall.
5 And he realizeth not that thou doest it for his sake, that he may have a trophy to parade about when the neighors come.
6 And when thou eatest at thy table, remember that foul sounds may issue forth from his mouth, and that he gobbleth his food and forgettest to offer thanks to thou who hast made it, while he doth sleep on the couch for a week.
7 And when thou art in the courtship process, thou must never pay thine expenses for that mightest cause his ego to tumble.
8 And I would not have you ignorant, sisters, concerning those who have entered that state, and would deceive you concerning it.
9 For many say that it is a beautiful thing to find a husband, but they know in their hearts that they lie.
10 For there is a saying concerning them, which runneth like this: Misery loves company. And so they would have thee enter that state, knowing the sadness that shall afterwards ensue.
11 Let not them sway thee in thy conviction, for there is a reason it is called the holy bonds of matrimony.
12 However, if it is still in thine heart to enter into such folly after this counsel, remember that thou must wake up beside him every morning, so ensure that he hath good breath and hoggeth not the covers.
13 And look well to his father, for that is likely how he shall look in thirty years, if the Lord tarry. And be sure of one thing: that he hath a large talent toward working, and quite older than thou with his wealth already accumulated. For when thou growest old thou dost not want to be stuck living with him alone.
14 And if it is his desire to be a minister, thou will be forced to teach Sunday School, play the piano, and look good at ministers meetings.
15 If thou desirest greatly to find a husband, there be many young bucks in the far countries of CBS, SMBI, BMA, MBS, and HBS whom mayest ask thou out if thou but only look their way.
16 And now sisters, fear not, neither be afraid, for a large bank account awaiteth the woman that abstaineth from marriage, and she shall take many fun trips.
17 And faithful and just is he that keepeth thee from falling, to appoint you unmarried unto the day of retirement. Amen.

All things written here become null and void if and when a man cometh along and sweepeth me off my feet.
No offense is intended, either to men or to the Bible.

risky

whiney post coming up
read at your own risk

i'm ill
and grumpy
ive got a head cold
its settling into my lungs
i sound like im a 5 pack a day smoker

kc is still testing me on the electrical cord issue
wish i knew how to stop him

got into a royal battle with a guy from mennodiscuss yest and today
not sure why, cause im not an argumentative person, normally
so, now, i have purposed to shut up
the funny thing is, his tagline at the bottom of each of his posts, is this....
"Never argue with a fool, because they will bring you down to their level... and then beat you with experience!"
even funnier is the fact that i had to correct the spelling of the word their in his tagline just now. i should have been a proofreader
(maybe im argumentative cause im grumpy and ill? and pms-ing?)

am missing my IM chats with clinton, but thoroughly loving the fact that phone has taken its place. its hard to believe that we have been friends for almost a yr, minus 10 or 12 days. you've been a big part of my daily life, clinton, ty

oh!
kc figured out how to get into the tub today
he jumped in, and was playing with his tail, earlier today
then this evening, he sat on the edge,
stuck his paw in, and licked it clean
stuck the other one in, pulled it up, looked at it, licked it clean
all this was while i was in the tub
he'd look at me, then lean over, and poke his paw into the water
i will still laugh hysterically when he falls in

having company again tomorrow evening
twice in less than a wks time
i guess im pulling out of my hermitess's lifestyle
maybe i dont need my hideaway in montana

testing

kc has really been testing me last night and this morning

he finally got banished from my bedroom last night, after he insisted on chewing on electrical cords. he got squirted, he got yelled at, and finally, he got put outside the door, and the door closed.
so this morning, i opened the door, and he is promptly comes in, and up on my bed for a few seconds. and wouldnt you know
down on the floor, over to hte cords
he looks up at me
puts a paw on the cords
looks up at me
bites on hte cord
and i yell NO and squirt and out he goes again, the door is shut again.

after awhile, i let him back in, he comes over to me, and he is all lovey
purrs
pushes up his back as i am petting him
reaches his neck to be scratched
and im thinking hes ready to be good now

hah

well, now hes sorta leaving hte cords alone, but he has found a new toy
the garbage cans...........

i cant win!

boredom

kc is growing like a weed
its hard to believe i've had him for 5 wks
he goes back to the vet on monday for his 2nd kitty shots
he weighed 3.2 lb on his last visit
it will be interesting seeing what he weighs this time

this has been a productive wk and a half off of work
gots my eyes taken care of, and gots my teeth taken care of

shhhhhh......
dont tell anyone, im getting bored and ready to go back to work

ill

ok, im catching a doozy of a cold again
started out with a sore throat yesterday, like it always does
now this evening, im coughing, dry cough, that wont stop
and a dripping nose, no longer have a sore throat
and gots this tickle in my throat
tomorrow, my voice will be gone
its following its predictable pattern

im gonna be a miserable woman, for a wk

questioning

1. First thing you did this morning: went on a short of breath call, and used BiPap
2. Last thing you ate: I made Pasta Roni, Angel Hair Pasta with Parmesan Cheese, not bad. well, i guess that has changed in the time i answered these questions. it would now have to be Hershey Kisses, Dark Chocolate. mmm, mmmm, good
3. Is your cell phone a piece of garbage?: Nah, for being an I60 Nextel, it has yet to irritate me, (knock, knock on wood)
4. What's the thing you look forward to most in the next 6 months?: hmmm, dunno, dont really have any big plans
5. What's annoying you right now?: my house is chilly, wish the furnace would kick in again
6. Whats the last movie you watched?: Stealth, lovely memories
7. Do you believe in long distance relationships?: I'm not meant to have a real relationship, i guess, be it long distance or not
8. What's Worse?
a) Being in love with someone you cant have:
b) Pretending to love someone you don't:
Why would you pretend to love someone you don't? That's just cruel.
9. Is there someone you miss so much it makes you sad?: Do i have to answer this?
10. What inspires you?: EMS of course
11. If you could put together a concert of 3 bands or artists, who would you choose?: ahh, i'll let someone else do the choosing, as long as they put toby keith in there somewhere
12. Song that sums up your love life?: dunno, make it a habit not to personalize mushy songs.
13. Whats the one thing you wish you could do better?: i wish i would be a better Christian
14. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be? in the mountains in montana, in my hideaway, where i could use the net to keep in contact with folks. gotta take kc along tho
15. What's your most vivid memory from 6th grade? i cant remember back that far, thats close to 25 yrs ago
16. Latest addiction?: reading blogs, oh, and buying toys for kc
17. Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone? Me? never.....; im so calm and easy going
18. How many people would you say you were interested in you at once?: at once? or ever? the number is prob abt the same
19. Who are you in love with?: why bother?
20. Do you think someone thinks about you daily?: Yes, a few do, i think
21. Who was the last person you saw or talk to?: lwd, he was over mowing my lawn this afternoon
22. What do u want to be when u grow up?: im on the down hill slide already
23. What is your favorite food?: Pasta, it shows too!
24. How many people do you know with the same name as yours?: Very few, i like my unique name
25. What was the last thing you spilled?: water

(stolen from my friend keira's blog)

ball

i stood and laughed at kc for 5 min tonight, before i finally helped him out.
he has a ball, that he plays with upstairs. it bounced down the steps. and he tumbled down the steps after it. and promptly tried to bring it back up. he could bring it up 1 or 2 steps, and he would drop the ball, bat it, trying to pick it back up again, and it would bounce back down. he'd go chasing after it, and hop up 2 steps, and the cycle would start all over. i couldnt decide if he was playing, or if he was trying to bring it up the steps, and couldnt. well, didnt he make it the whole way to the top, x for abt 4 steps, and he lost hte ball, again. it bounced down the steps, against the door, and stopped in the middle of hte floor. he just looked at it. and he came up the steps, sat down on the floor, and pouted. thats when i went down the steps, and brought kc his ball back upstairs. he was happy then!

well, my computer is running better than what it was, thanks to greg. not sure if its completely fixed or not, but at least its better than it was. we shall see. thank you, greg

bath

jon was over for awhile today
we pruned the grapes, cut them waay back
he says, ya gotta make the grapes think you are trying to kill them, to make them grow

took a long hot soaker bath this evening
felt good, and am feeling squeaky clean now
kc wanted in hte tub with me in the worst way
one of these days, he's going to tumble in
and i'll laugh at him, when he finds out its water!
i can just see it now
splashing and squalling
and after i scoop him out, hes gonna go running

today

kc has had another rough day today

he's had to put up with me running the vacuum
tis funny, watching him
he crouches down, watches it
and when it turns toward him, he turns and runs!
and of course, it turns towards him on its own
i have nothing to do with it....
nope, not a thing

he ran and hid from all my company this evening
had my entire family here, (7 kids)
and he spent the entire evening upstairs
and then, didnt we all go traipsing upstairs
i was nice to him, didnt show them his hiding spot

hes had to watch me go in and out hte door several times
and i wouldnt let him go outside

he rolled himself down the steps when he miscalculated
and i laughed at him

he hung onto the rugs as i would lift them to sweep underneath
and i'd tumble him off

i had a very productive day today,
and a very nice evening
and tomorrow, i get to sleep in all morning
kc will wake me up around 7
we'll downstairs, he'll do his business
and i will come back upstairs and crawl into bed
for another several hrs

gots 98% of my unpacking done now
and the family was here for supper
i got rid of a bunch of stuff,
they practically cleaned out my giveaway pile

jon gots a bday card from daves kids
was funny
they made a story out of candy bars
we wanted to give you 1000 grand
to buy a 4 wheeler
unfortunately it slipped thru our butterfingers
and carmello snickered
we think she has a crunch on you
and lots more to it, was quite cute, actually

i've got a very nice family
i certainly cant complain

feet

my feet stink tonight

see, theres a reason i go barefoot in the house as much as possible, my feet need to air out, and since its cooler out, the floors in my house have been cold, so i been wearing footies all the time. my feet havent had a chance to get some air
hmmm, maybe i should turn my thermostat up just a bit?


i seen a mother duck with 4 baby duckies today, along the road
reminded me of back when i was a kid
i had duckies most every yr, to raise

KC

im missing my kitty
hes not on my bed with me
hes sleeping on the steps, headed to my bathroom

kc has to know where i am at all times
if he doesnt know where i am, or if he thinks im gonna run out the door, hes right beside me, or sleeping beside me. today, he slept on the easy chair, while i was sorting thru the boxes of stuff that still needs unpacked.

oh, and i dont believe he can eat, without coming and squalling at me, and i have to walk out to the kitty room, and sit down on the chair, before he will eat. spoiled cat. he really squalls when i am making something for me to eat. he squalls until he gets a bite.

my leg is all scratched up. he jumps up on me, uses his hind legs and digs in, to give himself an extra boost. OUCH. bacitracin time. i clipped his front nails, but i guess i gotta clip his back nails too.

found a bunch of hair scrunchies in my unpacking today. Guess who got them? guess who is enjoying them? definately not me

hmmmm, maybe if i take my midnight potty break, it will wake him up, and he will come join me in bed. now thats an option worth trying

pupils

a word to the wise
do not attempt driving, after having your pupils dilated at the eye doc
its not a good idea
and dont plan any paperwork for several hrs afterwards

update

ok, IE is beginning to irritate the living daylights out of me
i downloaded spyware doctor, and it found 10 infections
not surprising
i figured something nasty was happening
so, i deleted them
but now........
i dont have the IE toolbar
i want my refresh button
i want my favorites button
i want the back button
and i want the address bar
the only tool bar that is showing, is mywebsearch
which im not so sure its a nasties that is better done without

poor kc is completely worn out
i was running up and down the steps, unpacking some more boxes today
he would run up and down the steps with me, every time
musta been 50 trips or more
he's been sleeping all evening!

planning a bday party for jon, on fri evening

dreams

i finally put my sweater onto hte give away pile

i got this pretty pale blue sweater with short sleeves several yrs ago. its really soft, and it has a lacey look to it. i got it in a Medium size, figuring i would use it as a reward for myself when i finally lost enough of wt to fit into it. well, thats been several yrs ago, and i will never fit into it. i feel like i am giving up a dream, by giving up that sweater

IE

IE was being a total bear last night
i finally shut it down, cause i was so irritated with it
heres hoping it works better today,
BUT
i dont believe it will
its still pausing, or freezing
grrrrr
i believe i need to find someone to hunt for the prob

time

mike called, bart called off for tomorrow
so, im headed to work at the hosp instead of central
thats ok, i can handle that
after all, i have off for 10 days, after sunday
am looking forward to it

time to play with my kitty
time to get caught up with station duties
time to go back home, and spend some time with mom and dad
time to get some landscaping stuff done around the house
and so on and so forth
oh, and ive got a dentist appt and an eye appt in that time, too
and jon's bday too

rain

its been raining most all day here, and really heavy at times
am glad for hte rain, we need it badly

got home this evening, tho, and i can hear my creek
they say its never risen up to the house, but has come fairly close at times
so, we shall see
and i checked, theres no water in my basement.
been hearing pumping details on occasion, today.
i really should go get a sump pump i guess, living this close to water

am tired tonight, maybe i'll think abt going to bed early

babies

PALS today
one of hte lectures was birthing (um, duh, of course!)
anyways, risk factors for depressed or asphyxiated neonates
the number one on hte list, is maternal age over 35

well, im 34, will be 35 in jan
that means, if i ever have a baby, i'll be a high risk pt
and my baby might not be healthy

but, i wont have to worry abt that.
no reason to even think abt it. wont ever happen

kc loves playing on the stairs
we do this game,
he scootches down, so that he cant see me, (i can still see his ears)
and he slowly lifts up, until he can see me,
and promptly scootches down again
and then i "pounce" and he runs away
and races back to me

tonight, he licked my nose, and then tried to bite it
i sorta like my nose, kc,
i want to keep my nose for a bit longer!
maybe i need to buy him some more toys

training

kc loves to watch the computer screen, to watch hte mouse.
he lays in front of my laptop, and right now, he's half on my arm, half on hte bed and watching me type. one of his front paws is on the keyboard. didnt i say he wasnt gonna get on my computer?
somehow, i think kc has me trained, not me training him.
this evening, i had just crawled in bed, and didnt he head over to hte corner, and start scratching and meowing. "you wanna go downstairs?" and he comes over to hte bed, and we go downstairs. he promptly heads to his litter box, and uses it.
goofy cat anyways.

we got the new stair chair this evening
EZ Glider, i believe its called.
am quite thrilled with it.
its gonna make bringing a pt downstairs as easy as nothing.

PALS is tomorrow
not looking forward to a morning of lectures
but will be nice to have it done and over with for another 2 yrs

isnt kc hte cutest cat you ever seen?

matthew

had a call this evening, that sorta sent me back in time.
we get dispatched for cp, get on scene, get loaded, im driving
husband of the pt gets up front with me

and i ask him his name, he tells me,
and i said, you had my baby brother for awhile
he says you're ***'s daughter, arent you? yes
and he starts in, they thot matthew was going to pull thru
they were really shocked when he died.

my baby bro was born in feb 83, died in oct 83
he had severe combined immuno deficiency disease
ever hear of hte bubble boy? same disease my baby bro had

for some reason, and im not sure why, matthew was over at their place for a period of time, while he was sick. we kids were all little, i was 12, tim would have been 5 i believe, and i dont know if mom was exhausted or what. i remember being over there, one day, and i was holding him, and a relative came and asked to hold him. i wasnt thrilled, but i left her hold him, and that night he died. she felt so bad, that she had made me give him up, on my very last chance to hold him, that she gave me a piece of material, that had been my great grams. the part that i remember the best, tho, is he went to hershey, in the middle of hte night, and lena mae came to baby sit us while mom and dad left. she kept us home from school that morning which i thot was odd. and then, mom and dad came home in the middle of hte morning, and i knew

mom told me once, (she doesnt often talk abt it), that he had died several month earlier while in the hosp, and while she was holding him, after they had pronounced him, she realized he was breathing again. like i said, she doesnt often talk abt it. she said, tho, that ever after that, he had the most peaceful look abt him, all the time. she wondered what he had experienced, and wished that he could tell her.

major trip back in time going on tonight

odds n ends

kc is watching me type again
he's leaning on my arm
hes growing so fast, hes twice the size as when i got him

29's memorial for matt was tonight
it was nice
and it is official
29-18 (the number) has been put oos

ive got an extra day off tomorrow
bart double scheduled and didnt know what he was going to do
i said, i'll take holiday time
so, ive got another day, this wk, for station stuff

been hunting water squirt guns, the little ones, for a wk now
and cant find them
i need a few, to assist in training kc
banishing him from my room, doesnt help much,
he goes straight for the electrical cords when i let him back in

i actually was able to heat AND EAT ravioli tonight, without getting any on me
for those of you who know me, you know that every time i eat something with tomato, be it ketchup, lasanga, french drsg, italian, anything, it always ends up on my built in shelf. dunno, i must be a messy eater

my bro jon has a bday coming up in abt 10 days
he will be 3o
i find that hard to believe
anyone know of a girl i can introduce him to?
or maybe hes taking my example, and being single

lets see, what else

bout time to start thinking abt christmas gifts
maybe i'll have everyone here this yr
they might like that

that spot of poison on my arm is driving me bananas

oooooh
bill told me i would be pleased to know
he ordered "rhoda steps" for the new truck
i guess i am, i needed those running boards
but.....? rhoda steps?
sounds like i will have something else to live down

anything else?
i guess not
this seems like enough of odds n ends for one day

OT

sitting here at my computer
wishing i hadnt told ss id come into work tonight
for 5 hrs, grrr
at least its OT

i could have gone to jco, and done a 24, but am not into 24's
besides that kc would be all alone for like 28 hrs
i cant do that to him
he would be distraught

nostalgia

went spotting tonight with jon
we drove up in our fields. i havent been up there, in yrs and yrs. i remember going spotting, in our old green car, and chasing the deer in the car.

then we came down around the pasture, around the old shed on the hill. i remember, 17 yrs ago, when the cicadas were out, i had abt 10 calves in that shed. i used to have to carry water up the hill to them, morning and evening. i remember thinking, i wonder what life will be like, when these cicadas come back. back then, i thot i would be a dairy farmer. i was into hte cows, was taking over the records, had already taken over hte milking, and the calves. and then, life took a sudden change, and here i am today.

we came down past the old chicken house, adn the tiny little peep house that i had had ducks in, and geese a time or two, and one yr, i think there was turkeys in there. i used to have my chores to do. even after i took over hte milking, i still had the calves adn the chickens to tend to. hey, was fun, i could carry 2 five gallon buckets full of water adn feed, and not blink an eye.

shone the spot light into the barn, against hte parlor windows, and the milkhouse. life as a little mennonite girl was so sheltered, so long ago

we were up at hte cabin for supper this evening, adn we were talking abt when teh cabin was built. one summer, when i was a half grown kid, i debarked all the logs for the cabin. i had this one tape that i used to listen to all the time, while i was ripping bark off these pine trees. after that, the tape got shoved back for some reason, and abt 2 yrs ago, i found that tape, put it in the player, and i immediately could smell pine

adn then, i was gonna bring the pet taxi along home. the one that mom had gotten for when we were into dogs/puppies. many a litter of puppies went to hte vet in that thing. i would crawl into hte pen with hte shelties and hook the puppies onto the 'dinner plates" every 2 hrs, for hte first several days of their life. shelties are very dumb mothers, and very dumb puppies.

how did i ever end up, where i am now?

matt

on monday evening we are having a memorial service for matt, will be placing the memorial stone in the courtyard at the hosp. (its a neat idea the hosp has)
and its got me thinking abt him again.

nicki called me this evening, and she was in need of someone to listen. she was telling me that the last five min before matt left to go to work, was talking abt me, and the first 5 min after he got back, was talking abt me, "you gotta hear this" he would say. she has told me several times, matt liked you, he thot you were cool.

im still not sure why he decided i was an ok girl, cause matt was sorta picky, who he liked and didnt like. im 10 yrs older, fat, conservative, soft spoken, and much to nice to drunks. he used to tell me, i had to be mean to them.

heh, one day, several month ago, i was taking a drunk woman to hte hosp, who was hitting on me. of course i was nice, after all, if it meant she was gonna cooperate, i was all for it. adn the only thing i could thing of, was, matt would be so disappointed in me, he would think he hadnt taught me anything.

matt had the most entertaining stories. i remember when he was all fired up, he was gonna get a giraffe. it would put its head up into his n nicki's bedroom window, and sleep like that. they could pet it from the 2nd story. and his recitals of his interactions with bls were lots of fun to listen to.

i lost my initiative to be at work at 630 when he died. we always relieved each other, and if hte pager went, just before we were there, we'd beep the other, and say, hey, im almost there, i'll take it. put me responding. i came back off a late call, one evening, while he was still in the hosp, and it hit me. never again, would i come back to central, to find him waiting on me.

matt, i still miss you, and will always remember the things you taught me
i will not allow ss to ruin my memory of my friend

confusion

this entire wk has been odd
each day has felt like one later
ive been confused all wk

i know, some folks would say im constantly confused
and maybe they are right

im confused to time
im confused to relationships
im confused to why im here
im confused to what i am doing
im confused to what i want

i do know that im glad i have off hte wkend
i do know that im glad i have the net
i do know that im glad i have my family
i do know that im glad i have my job
i do know that im glad i have KC

so all in all, even amidst the confusion, life is good
i have nothing really to complain abt

and last but not least